Chatroulette!

I went to Chatroulette.com to see if it was any good or any fun. I met some Finish people, Chinese people, and bookoos of actual penises. I also met a black guy who said this to me:

Damn You Sister!!!!!

Right testicle still hurts. Pain pill make me sleepy. The pain shoots into my stomach and my stomach hurts because of all the pills I'm required to take. All in all life is pretty shitty right now. I wont be able to do the show tomorrow. I have horrible pain if my balls are allowed to hang freely. I'm going to internet search "Ball Hammock".

Just thought of a new product: "Ham Cock"

Please cry for me.

Whoopie

Names for my penis.

Lance Armstrong
Peacock
One eye Ribeye
Gentleman
(If I was black): Kickstand
(If I was a Sumo Wrestler): The Mole
Huckleberry Cock
Lipsmacker
Right-hand Man
Block Chopper
Life Preserver
Edith Hamilton's Mythology

Amaturecrastinator

My teacher told me to write a paper, but I told him I, like other writers, am on strike.

My sister Jillian and I were looking at a list of dirty words and I called Jill "wizzer"
Jill asked "what?"
I read aloud "doo-doo"
Jill said "pizzer"
I questioned "What? you mean 'pisser'?"
Jill chuckled "oh! ha ha"
There was a silence as we looked at the list.
Jill broke the quite, puzzled.
"pink pencil?"