Chatroulette!

2010-03-12T12:06:00.001-06:00

I went to Chatroulette.com to see if it was any good or any fun. I met some Finish people, Chinese people, and bookoos of actual penises. I also met a black guy who said this to me:

Damn You Sister!!!!!

2010-03-12T03:13:00.000-06:00

2010-03-09T18:04:00.000-06:00

Right testicle still hurts. Pain pill make me sleepy. The pain shoots into my stomach and my stomach hurts because of all the pills I'm required to take. All in all life is pretty shitty right now. I wont be able to do the show tomorrow. I have horrible pain if my balls are allowed to hang freely. I'm going to internet search "Ball Hammock".

Just thought of a new product: "Ham Cock"

Please cry for me.

Whoopie

2008-04-06T02:24:00.001-05:00

Names for my penis.

2008-01-11T22:46:00.000-06:00

Lance Armstrong
Peacock
One eye Ribeye
Gentleman
(If I was black): Kickstand
(If I was a Sumo Wrestler): The Mole
Huckleberry Cock
Lipsmacker
Right-hand Man
Block Chopper
Life Preserver
Edith Hamilton's Mythology

Amaturecrastinator

2007-12-05T15:39:00.000-06:00

My teacher told me to write a paper, but I told him I, like other writers, am on strike.

My sister Jillian and I were looking at a list of dirty words and I called Jill "wizzer"
Jill asked "what?"
I read aloud "doo-doo"
Jill said "pizzer"
I questioned "What? you mean 'pisser'?"
Jill chuckled "oh! ha ha"
There was a silence as we looked at the list.
Jill broke the quite, puzzled.
"pink pencil?"

an introduck.

2007-11-26T19:29:00.002-06:00

Hello in some foreign language! My name is Jason, right now you dont care about me I can tell , but hopefully by the end of this introduction you will care and come back for more. I am part of the Alabama based comedy troupe MonkeyBallsComedy you may have seen our movies on Youtube.com (I can feel you starting to care). Any fart, here is the lowdown on the balls of this monkey:
Mario Roberto Carreras was born of a unicorn and a warrior centaur in mount Vesuvius shortly after its fatal eruption and destruction of Pompeii. He lived with his biological mythical creatures until the age of three when the centaur got tired of dealing with the bitch unicorn and hooved her horn right off into her brain, instantly killing her. After witnessing such trauma Mario used his imaginary magical powers to ship himself off to the small tropical island of Puerto Rico. There he was taken in by his current family two kind humans with a special interest in children born of mythical creatures. It didn't take Mario long to adapt to his new surrounding, but at the age of eleven, Mario's parents informed him that they would be moving to the magic city. A place where there had never been prejudice, hate, or crime, a place we call Alabama. Here is where Mario honed in on his craft, comedy... and pimpin ho's. All was well, but it wasn't until he met a burly cast that everything fell into place for our young hero. This comedic troupe named itself MONKEYBALLS and they have built an empire that spans the globe, or at least their small corner of town.

B. Ross Autry is a boy who was born on the ninth day of October in the year 1985 in the United States of America.

In November of 1983, Jason M. Roche sprang from his Platonic conception of himself on volcanic islands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. As a baby Jason was herald as the greatest thing since sliced bread and did typical baby things such as pooping in his pants and atypical baby things such as setting a no limits free diving record by diving 500 feet, he was only six months old at the time. When he was about 12 Jason started to get hair in weird parts of his body. Embarrassed and unable to tell anyone about the dead keratinized cells around his testicles he ran away to Hannah, Montana. While in Hannah, Jason worked as a garbage man at the local zoo. After a number of years, Jason left the zoo, when South African Meerkats turned on him while he was cleaning their poop and gave him an atomic wedgie and poked his eyes. In the summer of 2000, against the advice of family and friends, Jason navigated the Mississippi River with his black friend Jim. Jason now resides in suburban Alabama with 3 roommates, he loves beer and sleeps with a pussycat.

Matt Blackstone was raised by billy goats and is either playing a video game or funneling a beer at this very moment. His hero is the Blue Whale.

A web site (www.monkeyballscomedy.com) is in the works and should be up and running in a number of months, but I wanted to keep the massive fan base updated while the monkeyballs team is in school so I created this blog. So here are the updates:
#1. only 3 weeks until work on a very monkeyballs Christmas beings.
#2. in one weeks it will be 2 weeks until work on a very monkeyballs Christmas beings.
#3. in two weeks it will be 1 week until work on a very monkeyballs Christmas beings.

So ass you can see the monkeyballs office is busier than an asian in med school. but I hope to keep things fresh on this bloggywoggy and if there is a question you have for me or Mario or Ross or Matt the feel free to ask away and we will answer anything put fourth. thats all.

peace, love, and turds
Jason